Life with Three

Life with three is interesting to say the least. A lot of things have been happening since we have taken Baby Cavan home. Lets start with Maeve. Maeve has regressed a lot. She has become very weepy and whiney and has resorted to crying again when we drop her off at school. She asks me to carry her or rock her when she is feeling sad. She uses baby talk now when trying to tell us something. It is exasperating! I try to ignore a lot of it because I know that she is craving attention. When she is not behaving this way, I will give her extra hugs and kisses to let her know that I still love her. The tantrums are killing me but I know that she is just trying to make sense of all of the changes. With Cavan, Maeve is wonderful!! She is my little helper. She loves on him and cares for him... the maternal instinct in her really came out in the past few weeks and it warms my heart! She really protects him from Cara (which is not always a good thing). I couldn't have asked her to love him anymore!
Now onto Cara. Man has she it the terrible twos in all of its glory! We have tantrums that consist of screaming, throwing herself onto the floor or just covering her face with her hands like something horrible has happened. It is kind of humorous to watch but Kenyon and I have to remind ourselves that she is not a baby anymore. To time out she goes. And she hates it! But let me tell you- it is working and the mention of it keeps her somewhat quiet. She is really really good with Cavan. She understands that he is smaller and is okay with me breastfeeding and loving on him. I thought she would be very jealous. But she isn't. I constantly hear, "oh no, where's baby?" Or.. "hi Cabin." She is worried about him a lot and has accepted him as part of our family.
Cavan has been challenging the past week or so. His gas is getting the bettr of him and we have been up from 2-5 on most nights. It is exhausting. But I wouldn't trade it for the world! He is pretty chill and is okay with the girls screaming around him. He is my little love.... Seeing Kenyon with him now is pretty cool. Many times they hang out on the couch watching sports and Kenyon tells him all about it. It was a rocky start with Kenyon and Cavan. I think Kenyon got used to taking care of the girls while I was in the hospital that it took a while to bond with Cavan. But now they are buddies!
Now as a whole. It is insane. I am not going to lie. Sometimes I wonder how I am getting through it. In the moment it doesn't seem to bad but then when I look at each minute- I am like, this is nuts. For example. I took all three kids outside to play. Cavn did not want to be in the bucket so I was holding him. Cara took off on me down the street so I threw Cavan in the stroller and ran after him. Maeve, who was trying to help ran after her and fell splat on her face. So I had one screaming in the stroller, one screaming face down and bloody on the ground and one still running away on me. Looking back on it, I can laugh but at the time I was going to cry. Life is all about moments and for the most part, my moments are filled with love, laughter and happiness. Now, there are moments that I would like to forget about- but all in all, we are managing and life is pretty damn good right now!

Cavan's Birth Story

This might be long and I will try not to be too graphic but I tend to be sometimes. :) Here is how Cavan came into the world.

April 25th (Monday) during the day I just didn't feel right. I was running to the bathroom. I realized that this could be the start of something but honestly, I thought that the week before so I wasn't ready to admit anything. By 5:00 I was still feeling sick. Kenyon came home and I told him that I was predicting going into labor within the next 24 hours... he was skeptical to say the least. He decided he was going to go outside and mow the lawn (something that infuriated me at the time) and I was to feed the kids. I was having regular contractions at this point but nothing too strong. They ranged anywhere from 4-8 minutes. So at about 6:00, they were getting stronger. After talking to my mom, I called the doc and he told me to come in after about an hour. Called my mom back and they came over...

We arrived at the hospital at about 7:30 and they admitted me in the room. I was worried thinking if this was false, I would feel so so stupid. I mean, I already did it once. They kept saying, oh no, this is your third child, you are probably right. Yeah, no pressure. So the nurse checked me and I was only about 1.5/2 cm dilated. 50 percent effaced. Really? Disappointed was hardly the word. I was sure they would send me home. But the monitor kept showing that I was in fact having contractions regularly. The doctor came in three and a half hours later (after we were told he would be there in an hour). He checked me and I only went up half a centimeter but was almost 70 percent effaced. He offered to give me sleeping pills for the night and break my water in the morning (as long as there was progression). I agreed. And to sleep I went.....

The next morning Dr. Petraske came in and told me that I hardly dilated any more than I already had and I was not contracting anymore. She offered to break my water or send me home. Um, yeah. Break my water. And so she did. There was no turning back now! She told me to walk around, get things moving. Kenyon, Colleen and I walked for about an hour (one can only do so many loops around the halls without going crazy!). About two hours later, they checked me again and I had only dilated one more cm. So so frustrating. I hung out for a bit and was starving!!! Around lunch time, I walked again and they checked me again. I was heartbroken to know that I had not dilated at all anymore but I was thinning a LOT! Okay, some good news. So, walking again we went. This was about two o'clock. Colleen took the stroll with me. Kenyon and Scott stayed in the room. First time around I had one strong contraction. Woo! That was a tough one. Next time around it stopped me dead in my tracks. I told Colleen, okay, that hurt. I didn't make it around the hallway the next time when I was in tears. Colleen almost died and I looked at the nurse and said one word. Epidural. About ten minutes later I had the lovely anestioligist in the room putting that wonderful medicine right into my back! Ten minutes later, I felt nothing. I slept a little, looked at the clock a little and was kind of, yes, I'll say it. Bored. Then at about 4:30 I told Kenyon I felt like peeing/pooping. I knew this feeling from Maeve. I knew I was fully dilated and ready. I called the nurse who told me that the doc was in delivering another lady. Really? Because I haven't waited all day? Um. this was getting strong. It felt like she finally came in.... She opened my legs and said yep, baby is here! Within like literally 30 seconds, I had 5 nurses and the whole sha bang in the room with me. I look at Kenyon and then Colleen and all I want to do is start pushing! I don't think it took very long. Maybe a couple of pushes? I was holding onto my legs but then they pulled up the handles and that helped a lot! I pushed even when I didn't have a contraction and the feeling was relief! I wanted to know what this baby was for so long and now we were so close!! The Dr. made jokes trying to take bets on what it was.... one last push....

The moment that the baby came out of me I will never ever forget. She held him up- with all his gook on him and yelled, IT'S A BOY! I can never truly explain the love and excitement and wonder that I felt. I had a boy. Our boy! We never thought we would have a boy!! I cried, Kenyon cried, Colleen cried and then I held him. Lacey (bestest nurse and FRIEND ever!!) put him on my chest and cleaned him off as I just looked at him. I loved him. Cavan William was already my baby boy.... and he was so little!!! After a little while they took him and weighed him. He was 7 lbs, 1 ounce and 20.5 inches long. My beautiful boy. Pictures were taken, I was sewn up (i tore because he came out the wrong way- he was sunny side up). But it didn't matter, he was there- and with a PENIS! LOL. I was so excited to tell everyone and most of all, show my girls their little brother. :)